"And On That Note I'm Leaving After This Song"

Fade to Black is a 2004 documentary about the career of US rapper Jay-Z. This live concert at Madison Square Garden was Jay-Z's swan song, as he announced his intentions to retire from the industry.

so i'm officially done with law school and all my commitments in minnesota, and i have one more week before my fade to black tour ends before heading back to toronto, my home, my heart. at the time when i left toronto, i never saw this time coming so fast, 3 years seemed like an eternity, but here it is. i don't think its possible to sum up everything thats been part of the journey over the time, but i leave having made great friends, fond memories, and many valuable lessons learned. actually, they should rename law schools to "the school of hardknocks" because i think that might sum up what the experience is, and if follow along and look back on posts i've made along the way, its a decent representation of it all. excited, not jaded, scared, eager, lots of action and activities in your first year. second year, being jaded creeps in, long periods of inactivity, randomness of everything. and year three, leaves you wonder why you came to law school, and what happened to those feelings you had when you applied, when you got accepted, and when you started. in the end, being out of law school for the last two months and having some time to reflect, i can easily say that i really enjoyed my time at law school (except for taking exams) for the 3 things mentioned above, the friends, the memories, and the lessons learned. i could have gone through life doing whatever it was i would have been doing without meeting so many great people, doing and learning new things that i probably would have never been exposed to, and have a tonne of pictures/stories that will forever be memorialized through facebook, and picking up a j.d. along the way, that's a pretty sweet deal to me. but like listening to your favourite song, watching your favourite movie, or going on the best vacation, eventually these things have to come to an end, and you're left with feelings of sadness for the things that you are leaving, but excitement for the next one. but after hanging out with some of my closest this weekend and saying a first round of goodbyes/goodnights, i'm definitely on that side of sadness like jay-z thinking that this is his last album and last concert ever...

and with that and the wrap on law school and minnesota, i'll be retiring this blog (a term that i hated from the start). but like jay-z, i enjoy writing too much to be away from the game, so i expect my version of "kingdom come" and "american gangster" to drop sometime soon. in fact, it might already be in the works.

"grand opening, grand closing"

Memory Lane: April 22, 2006. Last post for first year.

a week before final law school exams for first year students at the university of minnesota. oh yeah then we get to petition for journals. hype.

"Impossible is just a big word thrown around by people who find it easier to live in the world they've been given than to explore the power they have to change it. Impossible is not a fact. It's an opinion. Impossible is not a declaration. It's a dare. Impossible is potential. Impossible is temporary. Impossible is nothing." --Muhammad Ali

Memory Lane: March 29, 2006. Legendary Legal Writing Assignments

our first round of oral arguments is this week for our made up case of mr. chet harper who some would claim distributed some liquid cocaine. anyways, the cops didn't read him his rights, tricked him into confessing then beat his ass (well everything except that last part is true, but it might as well be).

on a side note i'm surprised that are no rapping lawyers, because oral arguments seems to be a lot like freestyle battles. lawyers from each side battle each other with words and the ones that can spit nothing but hot fire get the decision from the judge or jury instead of the crowd. infact i may even site to some well known drug related lyrics in my own argument. check it.

why was your client in possession of cocaine?

"We sell, crack to our own out the back of our homes
We smell the musk at the dusk in the crack of the dawn
We go through "Epidodes II," like "Attack of the Clones"
Work 'til we break our back and you hear the crack of the bone"

Talib Kweli - Get By

why do you think the police arrested your client?

"F**kin with me cuz I'm a teenager
With a little bit of gold and a pager
Searchin my car, lookin for the product
Thinkin every brother is sellin narcotics"

N.W.A. - F**k Tha Police

can you tell us a little about your client's history with drugs?

"I need money, I used to be a stick-up kid
So I think of all the devious things I did
I used to roll up, this is a hold up, ain't nuthin funny
Stop smiling, be still, don't nuthin move but the money
But now I learned to earn cos I'm righteous
I feel great! so maybe I might just
Search for a 9 to 5, if I strive
Then maybe I'll stay alive"

Eric B and Rakim - Paid In Full

closing argument, my client is...

"Not guilty, he who does not feel me is not real to me
Therefore he doesn't exist
So poof...vamoose son of a bitch"

Jay Z - Izzo (h.o.v.a.)

Memory Lane: February 23, 2006. The Contest that never happened.

so i get back from chicago and i see the following email in my inbox:

Congratulations! You have been nominated to be a candidate in the first ever Mr. Law School Competition. The Mr. Law School Competition (or pageant, if you prefer) will be held on Wednesday, March 8th at 5:00PM in Room 25. A nominal fee will be charged for admission with the proceeds benefiting the Asylum Law Project.

The competition will consist of a short opening musical number in which the candidates will perform a simple dance/routine. There will be a talent portion. Each candidate will have to present a talent. As we will be in Room 25, we won't have access to grand pianos and such, so the talent can be pretty simple. If you can sing, tell jokes, do magic tricks or something really neat, that's great. If not, playing a tambourine, doing somersaults or something equally humorous would be acceptable - be creative! Next, candidates will model their "interview wear." Finally, each candidate will be asked a few impromptu questions in order to let the judges and the audience get to know them better.

The competition will be judged by a panel of faculty/staff members on the basis of some combination of talent, speaking ability, quality of answers, crowd appeal, entertainment value etc. The winner will then be crowned and get to bask in the glory of being the first ever Mr. Law School.

In order to participate in the competition, candidates will be required to attend a meeting over lunch as well as participate in a rehearsal the week of the competition. We will try to find a time for those practices that will work for everyone involved and we will send you the dates ASAP. We do not have much time to prepare, so it is very important that each candidate be committed to participating.

If this sounds like something you would like to do, i.e. you are a good sport and want to provide some much needed entertainment for your colleagues while benefiting a worthy cause, please respond to this email no later than NOON on THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 23RD! In your response, please include the following information:

1) Your Name

2) Your Class Year

3) What talent you are thinking about performing

4) What activities/organizations you are involved in at the Law School

5) Any interesting jobs or other activities you participate in

6) Your Hobbies

7) Any unique bits of information about you that make you a great candidate for Mr. Law School

Thanks so much and we look forward to hearing from you!

Sincerely,

Mr. Law School Selection Committee

i'm not hating on the event, and i appreciate whoever may have nominated me for such a prestigous award, but i have to wonder, what would someone actually do with such an accolade? i guess i could put it on my resume before my grade 4 art award for student best able to color within the lines and right after my grade 8 diploma (with honors). maybe for the talent portion i could kick a little rap, after hearing that terrible laffy taffy song, nothing could be as wack.

yo yo

check it

i spit hot fire

a UMN student for hire

mr. law school

i ain't no fool

i passed my l-sat

and my briefs are phat

in the court room, i pull a rabbit out a hat

i don't even get bad luck from a black cat

when i get called in class

i never say pass

when i'm doing legal writing

i'm never citing

it takes too much time

but i will bluebook my rhyme

if get a good grade

i hope to to get paid

and be like special ed, so i got it made

when i'm thirsty i drink gatorade

and when i go to the barber i ask for a fade

oh no i'm late for class, i hope it's delayed.

yo and it's like that

and i am out.

holla.

(i can't be serious, i'm done)

Memory Lane: February 9, 2006. An Unforgettable "wedding pants" moment

pretty much the whole class booing a fellow classmate for asking a question = my new all time favorite class moment at the university of minnesota.

truly one of those you have to be there kind of moments. i'm so glad i didn't skip class today.

i wished the school kept stats for categories like most questions asked per 48 minutes. only right now, like canada men's hockey team at the olympics, the gold medal is wrapped up, and we just have to find out who is going to come second.

Memory Lane: January 31, 2006. Bad Roe v. Wade jokes.

after many months we finally were finally assigned the case i've been hearing so much about but knew nothing about, roe v. wade. and maybe i was living under a rock, but like i said i knew absolutely nothing about it. actually when i first heard about it, my first reaction was dwyane wade versus who? i don't know who roe is, but i'm pretty confident dwyane wade would be able to take most people in a game of one on one.

so i started thinking...why don't they just decide all court cases in a simple game of one on one. it's as easy as moving from the courtroom to the ball court. on a side note, since most professional basketball players are well accustomed to the court room, it would save them the trip. it would be a lot more entertaining, and you wouldn't even need lawyers or referees for that matter, because defendants would have to call their own fouls. to top it off, each of the parties would get an introduction onto the court with the music and all. i can picture it now..

"and now, the defendant, he's a 6-4 guard, coming out of marquette university, number 3, dwyane "flash" wade"

followed by cheers or boos if that is your preference.

"and your plaintiff, hailing from parts unknown...roe"

"alright folks, standard rules apply, game up to 11, all baskets count as 1, and call your own fouls"

"what time is it? game time, whooooo"

do i think this would work? of course i do, because in the words of my role model rasheed wallace "the ball don't lie, the ball don't lie"

and now i can't wait till we get to the patriot act because right now i don't think its constitutional to favor one nfl team over the others. just because new england has brady and billichek and have won 3 of the last 4 superbowls doesn't mean they should get their own act. steelers act? seahawks act? maybe i'm just out of touch and should have stayed in canada, where i would be learning canadian federal rules of civil procedure, which is also known as the NHL rulebook. don't sleep on it, those two line pass rules are tricky.

Memory Lane: January 1, 2006. First trip back home.

briefing my winter break

-waking up the day after i finish my last exam, the first term as a law student felt like a blur, or maybe that was just the after effects of the section b party. its a forgotten feeling to be able to wake up without an alarm, not having some case on the mind, or wondering if today is going to be the day i'm called on when it just so happens that was the case i didn't get to. of course i haven't packed yet, and my flight back to toronto is only a few hours away.

-i like it how me, being an "international student" i'm supposed to get to the airport 2 hours before my flight. i'm pretty certain that my flight time back to the foreign country of canada is shorter then most people going home. i basically sleep through the hour and 45 min flight, declining the stale orange juice and dissapointed that they don't even give the headphones out anymore. can i even get a pillow?

-my first strange moment, i'm given one of those customs cards to fill out. i can't figure out if i'm a resident of canada or a visitor to canada (i don't know if i can use the domicile test from civil procedure). ah who cares, i fill it out like i normally do, putting the good ol markham address.

-upon landing the customs agent ask what i was doing in the united states, and with confidence i can say i'm going to law school (i wore my newly purchased minnesota golden golphers sweater just to prove it). she seemed impressed and then showed me how to correctly fill in the custom card "visitor" section, as i will only be visiting canada from now on. interesting...

-after four months in m-town (aka minneapolis, i don't know if anyone calls it that), i suddenly realized i was going to have to adjust back to the canadian culture (more on this later). its not exactly like when i came back from south africa and thought it was totally acceptable to run red lights (because i might get hijacked) or making sure i locked the doors, not once, twice, but three times, and made sure i tucked my money in my socks. no i didn't have to go to these lengths. but it took me a few days to get used to the things i used to be used to.

-getting picked up from the airport, i'm handed the keys to the black lexus (aka. 1994 pontiac sunbird). mind you, i haven't drove in over 4 months, sure no big deal when you're the self proclaimed michael schumacher of milliken. but driving around here is kind of like going through daily obstacle courses, only all the drivers are playing bumper cars, and you are not. i still know the toronto streets like a human version of mapquest and rip home in record time. in my mind, i'm thinking if any local cops try to test me, i'll tell them that their canadian law doesn't apply to me, quote them something from marbury v. madison, then show them my minnesota law school sweater as my id. maybe i'll try that next time.

-i get home and i begin telling the first story of what would become many resposes to "so how is law school in minnesota?

Memory Lane: December 11, 2005. Bad law school raps.

first law school exam tomorrow for all the first year students at the university of minnesota. i don't really have a pre exam ritual or any special way to prepare. but i'm thinking since it worked for B Rabbit in 8 Mile, i'm thinking tomorrow i'm going to get ready for my exam like this.

i'll get up, throw on my hooded sweater and sweat pants, put on my beanie (or tooque as we say in canada) put my ear phones on, starting jumping up and down. then i'll stare into the mirror, just like slim shady did. i haven't eaten any spegetti, so i know there won't be any vomit on my sweater already. but then i'll start rapping out the law to get myself pumped up.

yo yo check it,

summary j, don't pay, cause you don't win in the court that way

i'm all about diversity, give me 75K

cause the feds are after me with their questions

but if it ain't the right court, i won't even hear their suggestions

i just learned that in my last lesson

if i don't know the answer, then i'm just guessing

i catch cases from pennoyer v. neff to raekwon the chef

cause i'm all about the cream

and like martin luther king jr, i have a dream

that i can drive a vw, and eat burger king

and what state i'm in, won't mean a thing

and once again i wish everyone the best.

that they do well on their test.

(i can't believe i just wrote that)

i should ban myself from writing anything ever again

s shady

Memory Lane: December 07, 2006. More bad law school jokes

less then a week to my first exam. of course i should be studying right now, but as the lovely dean keyes constantly reminds us, it is important to maintain a balance lifestyle even when heading into finals. don't forget to eat, sleep, find new ways to procrastinate (the last one is my own addition). i still have a couple days for everything to come together, but just in case they don't, i've been putting together some back up plans about how i might freestyle my way through exams. for this my outline would look something like this.

model exam question approach

1) what would johnnie cochran do?

a) chewbacca defense

b) race card

c) wear a fancy suit (this is acceptable while writing the exam)

d) refer to your study group as the dream team

e) actually bring in a real life dna expert and have him complete any parts on the exam that would require expert testimony

2) citing cases and examples

i) cases that you know but might not even studied in class

a) See OJ Case (holding that if you could not squeeze the juice then you cannot hold our Defendant liable in tort)

ii) personal cases that people you know might have been involved in (maybe even yourself)

b) (insert milliken mills high school student name here) v. york region police (holding that P should not be liable for possession because 3rd party was negligent in not providing adequate warning when the 5-0 rolled up)

iii) legal related movies and tv shows

a) legally blonde

b) law and order

iv) base your precedent on cases you seen on judge judy, the people's court and be sure to make it clear that it holds more weight then the supreme court because its on tv.

3) in the event that you know the actual law just can't remember where, be as general as possible.

a) "See Constitution Art 1-4" then adding the comment, "it's in there somewhere"

4) take home exams tips

i) pay strict attention to word limits and be creative in getting around that

a) torts is 2000 words so it is equivalent to drawing 2 pictures, preferably in crayon (because a picture is worth a thousand words)

Memory Lane: November 29, 2005. Pre-Exam Thoughts

my first set of law school exams are only two weeks away. but as i get ready for exams, by preparing for exams, outlining for exams, preparing for outlines, making outlines to outline our outlines to prepare for exams. i thought i'd take a timeout and in the spirit of terrel owens, think of how i might celebrate the completion of each exam

at the completion of exam #1:

this being the first of four, there is no need to overdo it at right now. so i'm thinking that just as i'm about to hand in my exam paper, i will spike it on the ground. follow that up with a heisman pose in the doorway. if i'm really confident about the way i answered all the questions, i will take the sharpie out that i put in my sock, sign my name at the top of the paper and give it the professor.

at the completion of exam #2:

this is our halftime so i think it is only right that i conduct a halftime like interview with professor charles, where i constantly refer to myself in the third person and use several cliches after another. it would go something like this.

professor charles: "so how did you feel about that exam"

mr.k: "first off all, mr.k would like to thank mom, dad, brother back in toronto, and all mr.k's friends back home. mr.k would also like to thank all the fellow students, professors, faculty, ssg instructors that made it possible to understand all the concepts of the law. mr.k gave the exam 110% but also just took one exam at a time. mr.k approached the exam with the understanding that infact half the exam preparation was 90% mental. we just have to come out in the second half with the same intensity and leave it all on the field, i mean paper. by the way, there is no i in team, and defense wins championships and lawsuits."

at the completion of exam #3:

this is a opportunity to get creative. now only 1 exam to go in the term. hopefully i've built some confidence in my exam taking. i really like chad johnson's marriage proposal to the cheerleader a few weeks ago, and if will help me get an a, as i hand in my exam you might see me ask for prof. sigman's hand in marriage. if that doesn't go as planned, i'm thinking of shooting a video montage like kevin garnett did, which shows him training on the beach barefoot, doing drills wearing a muhammed ali robe and constantly putting up his index finger saying he is number 1 after each drill. i'll do something equivalent to that showing me studying in the library, answering hypotheticals, and doing practise tests all while wu-tang's triump plays in the background. on a side note i recommend that anyone in minneapolis check out a t-wolves game just to see that video, its great.

at the completion of exam #4:

this will mark the end of the term. and i could go all out, but i have decided to go with an o.b.g. (oldie but goodie). at the completing of my final exam, i have decided to celebrate in a classic, tried and true style. when i hand in my final exam, i will celebrate by pouring gatorade over my own head like bill parcells, michael jordan, etc. i will then throw out a couple of whooos, who knows, i might even say i'm going to disney world (or the minneapolis equiavlent, which would be what the amusement park at the mall of america?)

all the best to all my fellow students.

Memory Lane: November 19, 2005. Bathroom v. Restroom.

how does that saying go, "old habits die hard"? well i've officially lived in the united states for 3 months, and before that i've vacationed and visited several times but there is just one thing i can't quite seem to get over.

the simple fact that americans don't call a washroom a washroom. you ask someone in a public place where the washroom is and they look at you with a funny face like i'm speaking another language. "oh you must mean the restroom, or the bathroom" i guess its just a habit, because i make this same mistake in seattle, new york, las vegas, miami, charlotte, atlanta, basically any american city where i've ever had to use the washroom. i've done this a few times since i've been in minneapolis, and it always seems to provide a chuckle for my american counterparts.

i just have to ask, why would you not call it a washroom. i'm not looking to rest when i go a public restroom. i'm not looking to take a bath when i go to a public bathroom. then i remembered, a good friend once told me that americans don't say washroom because most americans don't wash their hands. and that's all i needed to know and more then i ever wanted to hear.

1

Memory Lane: November 2, 2005. Too Early To Be Jaded.

this morning i woke up, i didn't feel brand new, but i did think it was going to be one of those get by days. nights of sleep are shorter, days are colder. i knew i had to get about 25 hours of work done in a 24 hour day. but as i'm about to call it a night on this november 1st day, i'm feeling a true sense of accomplishment.

just as i'm about to step into my 9am contracts class, i receive great news from home (the t-dot o dot) that one of my great buddies received a much deserved promotion. a few you had to be there type of exchanges later, and i'm ready to get on my grind couzin, ain't no time for frontin. contracts class goes well, i come out of class without one of those cloudy bubbles over my head with a ?.

next up the break from about 10:15 to my next class at 2:30. in my first few weeks during these times, you could find me in the lounge napping, in the library napping, in the common room napping or in one of many rooms catching up on my zeds (coincidently, i was once referred to mr. nappy roots himself). but since nas said he never sleeps cause sleep is the cousin of death, i have decided i should be more productive during this time. so i turn up the ipod, crank up the wu tang clan and get to the legal writing (which is anti-creative writing at its best) and on this day wu tang clan isn't the only one who ain't nuttin to f' wit, cause i once i stepped inside, whoa damn. things are going well.

then torts rolls around, and torts goes well, tortingly. i follow along nicely the first 59 minutes, a couple amusing comment from my classmates that are always good for a laugh, a couple questions from people that like to ask questions. then i remember tonight is opening night in the nba, let me take a quick look who is playing tonight (special thanks to the laptops and wireless internet) and before i can even load up the page..."mr k..." yes maam. now although i had read the case i was caught in a momemt of unclarity. so although i considered making a witty comment to buy myself some time which usually seems to work for some of my classmates, i thought i would freestyle my thoughts on the case (no i did not actually drop a rhyme) but clearly this was no jay-z lacing a takeover at summerjam, because after a decent first 8 bars, my flow was off beat after that. but like jay-z did after he was hit was ether, i picked myself got back to the legal writing, and some 6 hours later completed work on the blueprint. 5 mics? let me just say judgment n.o.v.

so as they say your attitude determines your latitude. so if that's the case, then i'm trying to touch the sky. i feel very blessed to be in this position right now. i think every student in this school has a reason to be pumped up. i look it at like this. there are around 250 people in first year. university of minnesota is a top 20 school in the nation, so say there are 250 students at each of those schools, that means we are among the top 5000 students in all the nation in 2005. if i was stone cold steve austin, i'd ask for a hell yeah. but then i might also stone cold stun the 4750 students at the other 19 schools. but life at the U is good, so good that i decided i would capitalize it. how can you not be excited?

how can you not be excited about it when right around 2008 about 250 of my classmates will be lawyers all around the world. some will be trading in their student loans for a benzo, maybe someone will help get michael jackson in/out of jail whichever you prefer, but promise me you'll take r. kelly with you too. i'm sure there are going to be some politicians in this crowd, poli-tricking as usual.

how can you not be excited when you 2L's, 3L's who are like your older brother that makes your life easier cause they already took all the punishment, now they can tell you about it. i wouldn't even be shocked if they stood up for you and kicked that bully's ass that was stealing your lunch money. this is clearly not degrassi junior high, and there are no scooters (milliken's own) being locked in the janitor's office.

if i may point out that an interesting dynamic about law school is that you can have first year students that are older then 3rd year students. in fact you can have first year students that are older then the professors. so in reality you can go from being a freshman at law school to the old guy in the club, all in the same night. i respect that.

how can you not be excited when you have professors that are engaging not to mention funny and got jokes. i almost forgot that teachers are actual people. after going through years of high school where you could tell that some people were there because they couldn't be anywhere else. then to university of toronto, where aside from a few standouts, you basically had hacks read out of the textbook. now i got professors that take students out to lunch to get to know them. you have professors inviting students over for dinner on the weekend. you got professors who just know how to ask that right question just when you think you got it all figured out. you got a dean that celebrates opening day of the baseball season with a party in the library with free beer and hotdogs. what's not to love about that? and just because, if i was an american citizen i would nominate and vote for prof. charles for president, and i don't think you'd even have to ask yourself why?

so i'm excited, and before i fade to black on this day, i leave a few other signs of the times, that can only make me laugh

a friend asked me today if i tried using the golden gohpers on ncaa football 2006 for the playstation 2, i said i'd probably just wait till ncaa 2008 comes out cause that might be when i have some free time

in all my years at school, i use to make comments to students that carried big backpacks whether they were going camping that evening, or had a parachute in there. now i have to carry around two bags, so i can carry all my books with me.

in my undergrad i used to see people highlighting basically every line in the textbook, so i would comment, why don't you just highlight the parts you don't think are important (cause atleast you would save your highlighter from overuse). fittingly, i am now one of those that feels the need to highlight almost every line in the textbook.

since i've been here i've served some heavy hours in law school library, and i regulary see the same cast of characters. how can i not be proud of myself, when i consider the only time i ever went to the library at high school was to put books in the bags of students that were not looking then laugh at them when the alarm off.

respect to nk and tk back in to for making it possible to wake today feeling brand new.

shout out to all my classmates who might stop by here and make everyday brand new.

difficult only takes a day, and this day is over.

impossible? it only takes a week.

now if i could only do it in my sleep.

sk

Memory Lane: October 18, 2005. Life as a broke ass student

12 years ago i was told, "cash rules everything around me, c.r.e.a.m get the money, dollar dollar bill ya'll" and although that may be true for the wu-tang clan, that's definately not how things go for a canadian studying in law school in the united states, paying in us dollars

i do admit, during my first couple of weeks i was mentally converting all my purchases to canadian dollars. the canadian dollar exchange rate to the us dollar is around .84 so right off i was out 16 cents for every dollar i spent. but i've quickly gotten over that, however i have been led to believe that the exchange rate applies to my citizenship as well, so currently, i would qualify as 84% american. so that officially explains why i have forfeited the use of the metric system, even though it is conceptual superior. on the plus side, i can say "it's all about the benjamins" and actually mean it (i don't even know who canada has on the $100 bill, but i'm sure it does not sound as cool) however, if the rate fluctuates any more, i might even have to decide if i'm a republican or a democrat. but, by this logic, i would be 700% south african, which means i would probably have been hijacked, and shot atleast 6 times already.

anyways back to my point. so i'm officially a student again, and that means no income (i went from brokers to broke). but that is not to say that my credit is so pathetic that i couldn't afford a debit. rather with these thoughts, i went to the mall of america this past weekend (with a crew of minority students i may add...its like playing where's waldo, only the 4 of us are pop up characters amongst the flat pages) get it?

anyhow, my first question, who was it that decided to build this big ass mall here of all places. i really doubt this is the fashion or shopping capital of the country. its not like i hear ralph lauren or donna karen saying "hey minneapolis that's the place to show off my winter collection" so i don't really get it. i'm sure there were several deserving cities that would have appreciated this mall, especially madison-wisconsin (then maybe they wouldn't outnumber the number of locals)

when i was deciding if i should attend the university of minnesota, a friend of mine said, well they do have the mall of america, the biggest mall in all of the us. well that's great i thought, that would be the best place on earth....if i was 13. i don't know if you and your friends did this where you are from, but when we were around that age, we would hang out at the mall for hours. and inbetween playing games of street figher 2 and nba jam in the arcade, we would crush over the girls in the food court. this was goodtimes. now i'm a little older (only in age, not in maturity as you can see) and i really don't have the urge to hop on the rollarcoaster after strolling out of macys.

speaking of the amusement park inside (which is an oxymoron on its own, since i don't find it very amusing). if i want to go to an amusement park, i will go to disney world, but i go to a mall to go shopping. so here is where the problems begin. the whole amusement park is part of a silly gimmick that is the mall of america. sure there are some good stores there, but honestly, a cheesefactory, an oxgen bar??? now really. who goes to the mall and thinks, "i really need to go by the oxygen bar and get some air" the whole world is an oxygen bar, paying for it is ridiculous, going to a mall to get oxygen is even down right ludacris. the amount of useless stores in the mall is astounding, what were the people that open these stores even thinking. i think it went like this "lets open a store that only sells cheese related merchandise, there are lots of people from wisconsin here, so we can even sell some greenbay packers stuff" guess what? bad idea. if i was in charge of financing, and i got this idea thrown on my desk, i would write in big red crayon no less, "fuck off" fact is, i would probably have to tell about 45% of the stores in the mall to fuck off. that would include the piano store (that is always empty), the store with the airplane simulator (what can i even buy there) and the seventh and eight store that sells only sells minnesota related merchandise (i'm sure to the first guy, this was a good idea). but this is not to say, that the mall is not any good, there are actually some great stores, its just an effort to get from one to the next. but anyways, i guess when you are a law student and your big event for the weekend was going the mall, i shouldn't be complaining at all. (i could have been at the golphers game and watch them choke away the game to border rivals wisconsin in the dying seconds, for something known as paul bunions ax (what's next, playing for johnny's appleseeds?) respect if you remember what that was about.

but i will close all these thoughts with alittle story about being crafty with your dollars. i'm sure you know people like this.

there was this guy, the type of guy that would never have bills in his wallet. he was the type that would have about $10 in quarters. and you're probably thinking, this guy needs to stay home, you just don't go out with $10 in quarters. but let me tell you about this guy. this guy was determined to get around, on the bus no less. but he would never even cash in those quarters to pay to get on. rather, he would get on the bus, pretend he was looking for his change, wait for the bus driver to drive off, acting like he was about to pay, for like 5 stops. then when it became obvious, he would get off the bus (but try and find a transfer on the way out). and he would get on the next bus on the same route, do the same thing for about 5 stops. then keeping doing it, till he got whereever he was intending to go.

money ain't a thing

respect

Memory Lane: October 13, 2005. What I Thought About Minnesota Diversity (at the time)

i meant to write about the following issue alittle while ago but i wasn't able to, because it took a little more mental capacity then my usual useless pieces of work. everynow and then (like only once) i feel that rather then waste your time and mine by writing about something without saying anything, i should actually try and get a real point across. so here i go.

a few weeks ago, i had the amazing opportunity to have dinner at the dean's house. that's right the dean of the law school. i don't think i can really describe how cool i felt that was, considering that the only time i ever came in contact with the dean of university of toronto was during the convocation of what would be considered the very last day of my undergraduate career. to be cracking brews and talking about sports at the crib of the leader of the law school (not the leader of the new school) is something i did not take for granted...but if you are wondering what the scenario is... i was afforded this great opportunity by default of being a minority student. and on this day, that was the only qualification i needed to get through the door.

the university of minnesota is doing its best to improve the diversity of the school. but im not sure i understood exactly what it is that made me a minority. in its simplest terms, i guess that would be the color (no more u) of my skin. but isn't that just a product of where i was born. would a chinese person in china be a minority? i'd say probably not, but what about a white person in china, now is that person a minority? if the answer is yes, then you can essentially change your status as a minority citizen by moving country to country taking advantage where you see fit. but i kind of figure it has to be something more then that. maybe my background is what makes me a minority. and that usually leads me to more confusion. when i get asked this question, my usual response is that i'm south african, being that my parent were born there, their parents were born there and i think their parents were born there. but i was born in canada, so that has to come into play. fact is, very few canadians actually consider themselves canadian, rather people describe themselves as greek, italian, chinese, indian, etc. so therefore, why should i not be south african. so thats fine, but then the next question usually goes something like "oh i thought you were indian" that poses another issue of sorts, cause i'm sure my ancestors from way back when were from india. i guess my skin tone makes me indian color, but other then that, my ties to india, and my awareness of indian culture amounts to the double zero.

what i take from any of this is that i figure being a minority comes down to shear numbers. but in that case, why say a person is a minority based only on skin colour/background? are males or females the minority, and doesn't that change depending on where you are? what about things like religion, culture, ethnicity, so on and so on. if you please, label by label, you can break it down into majorities and minorities. what i'm basically saying is that we are all minorities and we are all majorities, it just depends.

growing up in a multicultural city such as toronto, you don't really think about it much. infact, spending the last year in south africa, the former home of apartheid, i didn't wake up one day ever thinking, "hey i'm a minority" so its interesting to have to consider all these things. coming from a place such as south africa, which was home to a blantantly racist government, got me thinking. it wasn't all that long ago, that people were separated and treated solely on their skin color. in south africa, stores, schools, hospitals you name it, were built separately for white people that would display signs on the outside that say "whites only". some would have entrances around the back, with a separate entrance that stated "blacks and coloreds allowed" interestingly enough, during my last trip to south africa, my cousin took me to the south african apartheid museum. i found it interesting, because it is clear that apartheid was a problem that they were not trying to act like it never happened.

i tell this little anecdote, because there was something that caught my attention. there was an official document on display during the time of apartheid that went something like this: 18 blacks are being reclassified as indians, 8 indians reclassified as colored, 5 asians as colored. to some degree the race that you were classified gave you more or less rights (but obviously still not equal rights to whites) and here, it is not like a person actually woke up one day and their race changed. rather, some government official for whatever reason decided to change the status of someone's race. for those that might not know, people were required to carry identification (something like a passport) that clearly listed what race you were, and that was as common as listing if you were male/female. so to see things like that, you do hope things get better. but really one would hope that all this is something that ceast to becomes an issue.

the other day while taking a small break from the abundance of law school reading, i turned on the television and caught an interview with thierry henry, arguably the best footballer (soccer player for the americans) in the whole world, and he was discussing the disgusting aspects of racisim in europe. i'm not going into the details of the interview but i was actually shocked when i heard him say some of the things that go on. so clearly this is not a north american problem, its something that extends worldwide, but i guess i was a little shocked that a superstar athlete such as this experiences these kind of issues as well. as a quick side note, mr. henry and other soccer players have since established a campaign "stand up, speak up" against racism. if you see black and white rubberbands intertwined, its in support of this cause. check it out.

i guess some people just don't know any better. so i understand why there is a concerned effort by the school to increase diversity and awareness. i've been fortunate, i've been in a situation where i've been able to learn from my asian friends, learn from my white friends, learn from my black friends, etc. and i have learned that we are all as similar as we believe we are, and we are only as different as we are led to believe...let me know if that makes sense to you. we are all equals, but i guess for now i'm a minority.

but i think what everyone is really trying to say with this whole diversity issue can best be summed up by chris rock "i don't think i should get a job over a white person if i get a lower mark on the test, i don't think i should get into a school if i got a lower mark then a white person...but if there is a tie, then f'em..cause you had a 400 year head start"

peace (cause that is what i mean, when you see me throwing up the deuces)

Memory Lane: October 6, 2005. Law School jokes that seemed funny at the time.

so i've been in law school for a month now. i've read through a 1000 plus pages in this time and accumulated a wealth of knowledge in contracts, torts, constitutional law, civil procedure and lets not forget legal writing. and you may ask, how do you feel about all the stuff you have learned?

well, i will tell you. i feel like a superhero that just got his powers. only my super hero name will be something along the lines of captain advocate (captain a, for short), or sir sue-a-lot. maybe its just the initial enthusiasm as a law student, and i don't know any better, but i'm slowly starting to see everything as a potential lawsuit, and like a true superhero i am out to save the world (well sort of). but before i can even do that, i think it will be necessary to take applications for my new super hero law student team, who will fittingly be named the supreme (court) team. has a nice ring to it don't you say. the justice league was taken.

using my ever evolving super hero powers, i plan on going through the mean streets and first tackling the following issues.

*disclaimer* (should be in big print, in bold)

the following might not be the correct application of the law (what can i say, it has only been one month), therefore, i am not liable for you applying any of the following concepts and them not working for you, ya dig?

i. i will be suing the toronto raptors for many things. firstly, rob bobcock for consiparcy to have the franchise relocated. i don't think the iraqi army would let you draft for them, and they'll take anybody right now. as well, your ability to make poor trade after poor trade... i know somewhere in there, you are violating my constitutional right, and even though i'm in minnesota right now and your in canada, i'll figure out the jurisdiction rules. count on it

ii. sucker mc's beware. under the uniform commercial code S-420 (also known as the run dmc clause) all sucker mc's will be hated on at will by all members of the public. this includes those that download your album for free and think it sucks (cause it wasted our time, and takes up space on our hard drive) as well it includes excessive playing on the radio or tv (you are doing a diservice to the public by influencing the youth of today with your wack music). the comments in the code specifically list the following artists as violators of the code: lil jon, ludacris, fat joe, the whole cash money and no limit crew, 95% of all artists on mtv right now, and any rapper that brags about how much cheese, whips and bling they have in their first video (first of all, we know those are rentals, and how are you a millionaire when you haven't sold 1 album yet??)

iii. i'm going after every bouncer that ever threw out my friends and/or i from a club for no reason, or even if they had a reason. when you put your steroid filled arm on my back, tort, tort, tort. when you got that beer bottle smashed on your head, well that was self defense on our part, you were clearly charging at us. oh and to the bouncers that insist on keeping us out in the cold to hold the line when you know its dead inside, you are going down by my new found belief in the constitution. i think its amendment xxvi that protects my right to keep warm, and if not, to whip your ass.

iv. unfortunately to anyone that i ever made a gratuitous promise to, i'm sorry to inform you that i can not be held to that. so i f i said, i'll get you back next time, or i'll take you out for dinner sometime, even i'm i stamped it and said no erasies and pinky swore, i'm sorry to tell you, but you lose. now i might only have to fullfill these things, if i actually like you.

v. all poor drivers in milliken and for that matter anywhere in north america will be made guilty under negligence, trespass, case you name it. bad drivers know they are bad drivers. if not, they should be able to tell by the big ass dents on their bumper, fender and their door. i don't care that when bad drivers leave their house that they don't intend to harm someone, just their actual presence on the road, causes us apprehension.

vi. any movie, tv show, sports event, or concert without a disclaimer before it starts stating, that it has a potential to suck (on a scale of 1-10) is subject to rewarding damages on the basis for wasting anywhere from 30 mins to 3 hours of my life that i cannot get back. there is nothing worse then having to sit through an event half way hoping that it is going to get better, only for it to never turn around. for this, i expect to receive atleast $100 from the makers of napolean dynamite, million dollar depression, and double that for my attendance to any toronto raptors game.

vii. any job interview that you ever went to and thought you were really going to get, only to be hit the so-called "sorry, f off" letter that states they had too many qualified applicants, and they will be keeping your application on file for a year. guess what? if i find out that you don't have my application on file, and if a friend who is working at the company tells me they hired someone after you that is a total hack, your company will be held in breach of your own written correspondence. and if that doesn't work, there is always the race card. same goes for any university that you applied to and didn't get into.

viii. no more frustrating weather reports that state the wrong forecast day after day. i wake up, check the forecast and see sunny skies ahead, only for it to be raining by noon. next time you do that, i'm suing you for your lack of forseeability. and things like "there is a chance of rain", well that is unacceptable. you know what there is a chance that i might win $10,000,000. there is a chance that i could be dating jessica alba. there is a chance for many things, and saying there is a chance of rain, doesn't really help in the grand scheme of things. f you, pay me.

iX. dirty looks, screw faces are grounds for an ass whipping. we understand your right to get into a brawl every now and then, that is clearly not your fault. don't worry the shoot first, ask questions later defense is totally acceptable in this jurisdiction, and in south africa it is actually encouraged. so go for it.

x. last but not least, coffee too hot? burger too cold, dope count too small? drinks too watered down, we'll take the case, and find it somewhere in your constitutional, jurisdictional, contractual right, whatever to get what is yours.

"f the judge, f the jury when you're rolling with me, it's people's court, we hold court in the streets..."

Memory Lane: September 24, 2005. MN State of Mind

today i went to my first college football game. i thought i'd take a moment to share my experience. this week was homecoming week, being from canada, i had no idea what that meant. but i learned that today's game of minnesota vs. purdue would be an integral part of homecoming. of course, it took me till today to even find out what homecoming is. i believe homecoming is for the alumni of the school to come back, and basically celebrate their fondness for the university of minnesota. i guess that explains the number of old people in university of minnesota t shirts from the 1970's that were atleast 2 sizes too small for them.

tickets were only $15. in toronto we pay $15 just to park to go watch a game. in toronto you would have to pay $15 to go clubbing some nights, if you don't have links. so this is what i consider a deal.

great game. minnesota defeats the #11 ranked purdue boilermakes in double overtime. the golphers controlled most of the game, and looked like they were going to blow out the boilermakers with a solid running game. purdue's offense was struggling so much, i thought they were going to have to call in mr. big dogg glen robinson himself to get some points on the board. but they came roaring back thanks to a series of poor decisions by qb #3. he did redeem himself in the end, but i have to wonder about a quarterback that showed no ability to throw downfield and find open receivers. it reminded me of playing john madden football 93 on sega genesis, where there were only about 6 plays. and you always go to the sweep right with barry sanders cause it works, and maybe to change it up, you do the screen pass to barry sanders. then everynow and then you try the play action. but that doesn't work too well, so you go back to the sweep right. which brings me too...

university of minnesota running back, laurence maroney, is the truth. he's so much faster then the other guys on the field, it is like he enabled a cheat code for unlimited turbo and the coach is pressing r1 on the controller all the time.

i'm so proud of my golden gophers collectors cup. its my first piece of university of minnesota memorabilia, well second if i count the extra large t shirt the law school sent me. thanks for that.

just before the 4th quarter, we were enlightened to see the 3 time national dance team champions...what honestly??? i found that title in itself amusing. these aren't even the cheerleaders, competing in bring it on. then after watching their "dance routine" my first thought was how terrible were the other schools competing in this "national championship" to not be beating minnesota. some squad must have been disaqualified for an illegel roger rabbit or running man. needless to say, i don't think we will be seeing this dance squad in the latest kanye video.

and can someone answer me this. we from canada, have heard that cheerleaders and band geeks can get full scholarships to attend us universities. okay, maybe i can understand cheerleaders (only female), as there is a level of skill or something like that involved. but band geeks seriously??? how would that even work. does a recruiter come to the high school and say "wow, that guy there, he is clearly way better then everyone else at banging the drum, we need him in our starting lineup."

on another note, i don't know how i feel about the smiling stuffed golden golpher as our mascot. how intimidating can a stuffed alvin the chipmunk lookalike be. i don't even know what a boilermaker is, but atleast he carries around a hammer with him. seminoles, wolverines, trojans, i believe those things are about to do damage. a golden golpher, i kind of expect them to stick their head out in february, see their shadow and let us know if winter is going to be 6 weeks longer before going back in their hole and hibernating for the winter. (i know that's a groundhog, but i hope you get my point)

despite that, going to a game, its impossible to not get in the spirit of the university of minnesota even ifyou are mr. player hater himself, and just came back from the winning at the player haters ball. whats not to love, about high fiving random strangers, a sea of maroon and yellow, heckling the one purdue fan in your row, and instigating the old guy to drink more beer and cheer louder. another favouite moment of mine, how about the guy two rows up, that insists that he's the reason the golphers scored the two point conversion because he was telling us to be quiet otherwise the quarterback wouldn't be able to call the play (mind you we were about 100 yards from the play) but he was sure that he did that. and when the golphers batted down that last pass, that was because of him too telling the db to "stop that guy". yeah bud, you did that, your voice was the only one heard out of the 48,000 plus.

minnesota is cool.

still getting used to central time and being one hour behind

still getting used to farenheit rather then celcius.

shouts out to sarika and kara (as promised)

peace.

Memory Lane: September 16, 2005. My First Law School Post.

i've officially completed my second week of law school at the university of minnesota. to say that it has been interesting is an understatement. before i go into some of those interesting things, check this...imagine that two years ago, you decide you are going to apply to law school. you start the process. you do your lsat. get reference letters. you apply to a couple of schools. other schools send you stuff. months pass by. you get some letters from your not so favorite canadian schools saying you are on their waiting list. they'll let you know. thanks. how considerate. you get a rejection letters from said canadian school. you get accepted into the university of cape town in south africa. you think about. you think long and hard. you accept. but you think "let me get my south african citizenship and passport first". its january, it's three weeks before school starts in south africa. you find out that home affairs has lost your passport application. you can still go. but you have a "feeling" so you decide not to go. a couple weeks pass by. another rejection letter from a canadian school. you waiver on that feeling. one day, a letter comes from the university of minnesota. legal sized envelope. pretty thin. you think "another rejection...oh well, it's a top 20 school, how could i get into there, if i couldn't get into windsor" you open it. the first line reads...congratulations.

excitement. joy. is this a joke. is ashton kutner upstairs with the punk'd camera crew? you accept. time goes by. you start getting ready. you think you have lots of time. you don't. its 5 days before you have to leave. you say your thanks and goodbyes to your employees at work. you get this new "feeling". bbq bashment part 1. bbq bashment part 2. that "feeling" becomes stronger. you realize that "feeling" is that you won't be seeing those people that you see everyday,weekend, etc. for sometime. wow. goodbyes to all your great friends. feeling of sadness. leave for minneapolis. 1519km. 15 hours. you find a place. set up shop. parents leave. feeling of sadness. orientation is tomorrow. you try and get some rest. you can't. orientation. your first thought. "what if my name is not on the list, and they made a mistake and i'm really not supposed to be here" uh oh. enter the building (see walter f modale school of law pic). "Mr. Karolia, welcome to the University of Minnesota Law School" smile.

so incase you didn't know what the midwest is...here it goes

-the univeristy of minnesota is the "big 10" conference, but there are 11 schools in the big ten "11"...ok next

-in my class, i've been fortunate to meet interesting people from places such as maryland (hurting them in the home of the terrapins), california (i don't think they really know how cold it is going to get), wisconsin(cheeseheads) , iowa, michigan, nigeria, sweden (hey mats sundin, he's swedish..) and many more...whereas at the university of toronto, i met people from scarborough and missisauga. see the difference

-upper year students (known as 2Ls and 3Ls) are extremely helpful and pleasent. the midwest has this reputation for friendliness which i really have to say is true. as my duty as a former torontonian, i make sure that i inform everyone who has the perception that canadians are friendly, that, this is not true. where and how that rumour ever got started, i want to know.

-law school is just like regular school. if everyday at regular school consisted of what it was like way back in grade 4, of your first day of french class. remember that. make sense? you know english, then your first day of french comes along, and sure some words are the same, you just add a le or la in front of it. then remember the confusion when you get into all those rules, femine/mascaline, plural, singular with femine. that's sort of what law school is like, except everyday of class, is like the first day of french class.

-you actually enjoy going to class, you wish class was longer so you can learn more....but you kind of fear of being "called on" by professor charles

-imagine this, you do reading for a class, you take detailed notes, you think you have an understanding of the concepts and ideas, then out of a class of say 100 students, the professor calls randomly "mr...why shouldn't the supreme court review political decisions??" and you, whether you were the person picked or not think "what, was that in the reading?" and if you were picked, you ask for the question to be repeated to give you more time to put together a reponse that makes no sense. welcome to the socratic method ladies and gentlemen...but you go back and re-read what you just covered, and its like you see things in a whole new light. its like a revolution every day. i like that.

-you look back at your undegrad, and realize what a joke it was. kind of like remember when you were in high school, oac, and you used to study the night before for your calculus exam, and you thought that was tough. then you got to university, and you might have studied for a couple of days for your finance/english literature or whatever class, and you thought that was tough, and you might have had a paper due for another class. and you looked back on high school, and said, wow i can't believe i used to complain about studying for one whole day, and if you could go back, you think you can get 100%. that's basically the feeling i have about my undergrad right now.

-it appears that most of the undergrads here know that being an undergrad is a joke. sure there are some engineering students that are serious. but you know the stuff you see on american tv shows, where the kids on campus are partying it up, having a good time, skipping class cause they are too hung over from tailgating...that is exactly what goes on here. then realize that the legal drinking age here is 21, and that college freshman are around 18. then ask yourself if you really think that matters.

-flip flops, shorts, and a sweater??? honestly, does this even serve a purpose. yeah you keep your arms warm, but don't your legs and feet get cold. you can't tell me, you don't feel the cold, cause i'm from canada, i know what cold is too. i'm beginning to wonder if most law students, and all students for matter even own a pair of shoes (i could have swarn i seen a student with a suit and flip flops on friday), because all i seem to see is people's toes wiggling around.

-you really start to see things differently. i saw a guy push a lady on the bus last weekend, and rather then thinking..."is that lady ok", i was thinking "hey that's a tort, is there a lawyer here? hey am i' one (well not yet)

-i've heard that there is no such thing as a free lunch, well i've had about 6 of them on campus already. so obviously the person that said this was never s a student accumulating massive debt. this is like winning the lottery for a small sum, and who doesn't love that?

-there is such a thing as law humor, and yes i find it amusing. i could try and tell it right now, but its one of those things where you would have to be here to get it. trust me. (but you can look up "chewbacca defense" on google)

-the word "reasonably" takes on a new meaning (see that's some law humor)

-i'm spelling the word "humor" without the u (canadian humor)

-cooking is not so much about making great filling dishes, and more about the time and effort it takes to make something, and clean up. (i could make some grilled chicken in pan, but wow, that peanut butter sandwich, that only makes a dirty knive and plate to clean up...peanut butter sandwich 1, grilled chicken 0.

-i know, that i never knew that a fridge could look so empty. that everything in that fridge is something that you put or did not put in it. think about that. compare it with the fact, then maybe when you are at home, you eat something, or you have some dirty clothes lying around. usually you are a good kid, and you pick up after yourself. maybe every now and then, you forget or you get lazy, and your parents harass you to clean up. sometimes its just an oversight, and you still leave it, or you might even know that eventually one of your parents are going to pick it up for you. well, that will never happen here anymore. if something is there or not there, its staying there or not going to be there, unless i get off my ass and do it.

-u.s tv. what can you really say about a nation that brings you countless amusing reality shows. from celebrity blackjack featuring warren g and the host of survivor to showing girls sweet sixteen birthday parties where they are spoiled to death then led to tears about how much they hate their life, to reality shows about killing reality shows where they put former reality tv stars in a house and let them go at it, to tommy lee going to school as an undergrad in nebraska, and my favorite of them all, teradise featuring human hangover tera reid. the whole show is basically about her getting hammered all over the world, exposing herself, and looking like an idiot, so basically, they just put cameras on her, and let her live her regular life..if i didn't have school, there isn't anything i would like to do more then watch people live in a train wreck that is their lives

-its such a simple formula and it works so well. take the surreal life for example, the new season here has jose canseco, the guy from perfect strangers, etc. take a look at each season. you have a has been rapper, a washed up rockstar, a realed washed up c list actor, a reality tv show star, a former coked up model, a freak of somesort, put them in a house, and you have instant issues and drama. then use that formula and apply it to every possible situation possible. great tv.

-hearing from family and friends on the phone, email, text messages, msn, etc. takes on a whole new level of importance. good looking out, i appreciate it

-you start using a blog to write about your life as a law student in minnesota, and less about the toronto raptors.

it wasn't all a dream, and i didn't have to read word up magazine...done