Memory Lane: February 23, 2006. The Contest that never happened.

so i get back from chicago and i see the following email in my inbox:

Congratulations! You have been nominated to be a candidate in the first ever Mr. Law School Competition. The Mr. Law School Competition (or pageant, if you prefer) will be held on Wednesday, March 8th at 5:00PM in Room 25. A nominal fee will be charged for admission with the proceeds benefiting the Asylum Law Project.

The competition will consist of a short opening musical number in which the candidates will perform a simple dance/routine. There will be a talent portion. Each candidate will have to present a talent. As we will be in Room 25, we won't have access to grand pianos and such, so the talent can be pretty simple. If you can sing, tell jokes, do magic tricks or something really neat, that's great. If not, playing a tambourine, doing somersaults or something equally humorous would be acceptable - be creative! Next, candidates will model their "interview wear." Finally, each candidate will be asked a few impromptu questions in order to let the judges and the audience get to know them better.

The competition will be judged by a panel of faculty/staff members on the basis of some combination of talent, speaking ability, quality of answers, crowd appeal, entertainment value etc. The winner will then be crowned and get to bask in the glory of being the first ever Mr. Law School.

In order to participate in the competition, candidates will be required to attend a meeting over lunch as well as participate in a rehearsal the week of the competition. We will try to find a time for those practices that will work for everyone involved and we will send you the dates ASAP. We do not have much time to prepare, so it is very important that each candidate be committed to participating.

If this sounds like something you would like to do, i.e. you are a good sport and want to provide some much needed entertainment for your colleagues while benefiting a worthy cause, please respond to this email no later than NOON on THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 23RD! In your response, please include the following information:

1) Your Name

2) Your Class Year

3) What talent you are thinking about performing

4) What activities/organizations you are involved in at the Law School

5) Any interesting jobs or other activities you participate in

6) Your Hobbies

7) Any unique bits of information about you that make you a great candidate for Mr. Law School

Thanks so much and we look forward to hearing from you!

Sincerely,

Mr. Law School Selection Committee

i'm not hating on the event, and i appreciate whoever may have nominated me for such a prestigous award, but i have to wonder, what would someone actually do with such an accolade? i guess i could put it on my resume before my grade 4 art award for student best able to color within the lines and right after my grade 8 diploma (with honors). maybe for the talent portion i could kick a little rap, after hearing that terrible laffy taffy song, nothing could be as wack.

yo yo

check it

i spit hot fire

a UMN student for hire

mr. law school

i ain't no fool

i passed my l-sat

and my briefs are phat

in the court room, i pull a rabbit out a hat

i don't even get bad luck from a black cat

when i get called in class

i never say pass

when i'm doing legal writing

i'm never citing

it takes too much time

but i will bluebook my rhyme

if get a good grade

i hope to to get paid

and be like special ed, so i got it made

when i'm thirsty i drink gatorade

and when i go to the barber i ask for a fade

oh no i'm late for class, i hope it's delayed.

yo and it's like that

and i am out.

holla.

(i can't be serious, i'm done)