Memory Lane: January 31, 2006. Bad Roe v. Wade jokes.

after many months we finally were finally assigned the case i've been hearing so much about but knew nothing about, roe v. wade. and maybe i was living under a rock, but like i said i knew absolutely nothing about it. actually when i first heard about it, my first reaction was dwyane wade versus who? i don't know who roe is, but i'm pretty confident dwyane wade would be able to take most people in a game of one on one.

so i started thinking...why don't they just decide all court cases in a simple game of one on one. it's as easy as moving from the courtroom to the ball court. on a side note, since most professional basketball players are well accustomed to the court room, it would save them the trip. it would be a lot more entertaining, and you wouldn't even need lawyers or referees for that matter, because defendants would have to call their own fouls. to top it off, each of the parties would get an introduction onto the court with the music and all. i can picture it now..

"and now, the defendant, he's a 6-4 guard, coming out of marquette university, number 3, dwyane "flash" wade"

followed by cheers or boos if that is your preference.

"and your plaintiff, hailing from parts unknown...roe"

"alright folks, standard rules apply, game up to 11, all baskets count as 1, and call your own fouls"

"what time is it? game time, whooooo"

do i think this would work? of course i do, because in the words of my role model rasheed wallace "the ball don't lie, the ball don't lie"

and now i can't wait till we get to the patriot act because right now i don't think its constitutional to favor one nfl team over the others. just because new england has brady and billichek and have won 3 of the last 4 superbowls doesn't mean they should get their own act. steelers act? seahawks act? maybe i'm just out of touch and should have stayed in canada, where i would be learning canadian federal rules of civil procedure, which is also known as the NHL rulebook. don't sleep on it, those two line pass rules are tricky.