Memory Lane: March 29, 2006. Legendary Legal Writing Assignments

our first round of oral arguments is this week for our made up case of mr. chet harper who some would claim distributed some liquid cocaine. anyways, the cops didn't read him his rights, tricked him into confessing then beat his ass (well everything except that last part is true, but it might as well be).

on a side note i'm surprised that are no rapping lawyers, because oral arguments seems to be a lot like freestyle battles. lawyers from each side battle each other with words and the ones that can spit nothing but hot fire get the decision from the judge or jury instead of the crowd. infact i may even site to some well known drug related lyrics in my own argument. check it.

why was your client in possession of cocaine?

"We sell, crack to our own out the back of our homes
We smell the musk at the dusk in the crack of the dawn
We go through "Epidodes II," like "Attack of the Clones"
Work 'til we break our back and you hear the crack of the bone"

Talib Kweli - Get By

why do you think the police arrested your client?

"F**kin with me cuz I'm a teenager
With a little bit of gold and a pager
Searchin my car, lookin for the product
Thinkin every brother is sellin narcotics"

N.W.A. - F**k Tha Police

can you tell us a little about your client's history with drugs?

"I need money, I used to be a stick-up kid
So I think of all the devious things I did
I used to roll up, this is a hold up, ain't nuthin funny
Stop smiling, be still, don't nuthin move but the money
But now I learned to earn cos I'm righteous
I feel great! so maybe I might just
Search for a 9 to 5, if I strive
Then maybe I'll stay alive"

Eric B and Rakim - Paid In Full

closing argument, my client is...

"Not guilty, he who does not feel me is not real to me
Therefore he doesn't exist
So poof...vamoose son of a bitch"

Jay Z - Izzo (h.o.v.a.)