Memory Lane: December 07, 2006. More bad law school jokes

less then a week to my first exam. of course i should be studying right now, but as the lovely dean keyes constantly reminds us, it is important to maintain a balance lifestyle even when heading into finals. don't forget to eat, sleep, find new ways to procrastinate (the last one is my own addition). i still have a couple days for everything to come together, but just in case they don't, i've been putting together some back up plans about how i might freestyle my way through exams. for this my outline would look something like this.

model exam question approach

1) what would johnnie cochran do?

a) chewbacca defense

b) race card

c) wear a fancy suit (this is acceptable while writing the exam)

d) refer to your study group as the dream team

e) actually bring in a real life dna expert and have him complete any parts on the exam that would require expert testimony

2) citing cases and examples

i) cases that you know but might not even studied in class

a) See OJ Case (holding that if you could not squeeze the juice then you cannot hold our Defendant liable in tort)

ii) personal cases that people you know might have been involved in (maybe even yourself)

b) (insert milliken mills high school student name here) v. york region police (holding that P should not be liable for possession because 3rd party was negligent in not providing adequate warning when the 5-0 rolled up)

iii) legal related movies and tv shows

a) legally blonde

b) law and order

iv) base your precedent on cases you seen on judge judy, the people's court and be sure to make it clear that it holds more weight then the supreme court because its on tv.

3) in the event that you know the actual law just can't remember where, be as general as possible.

a) "See Constitution Art 1-4" then adding the comment, "it's in there somewhere"

4) take home exams tips

i) pay strict attention to word limits and be creative in getting around that

a) torts is 2000 words so it is equivalent to drawing 2 pictures, preferably in crayon (because a picture is worth a thousand words)